i'd like to introduce
now the featured artist of this evening's... ordeal. i'm sure that you'll
all agree without any hesitation that tom lehrer is the most brilliant
creative genius that america has produced in almost 200 years, so perhaps
a few words of biographical background might not be amiss. endowed by
nature with perhaps the most glorious baritone voice to be heard on
an american stage since the memorable concert debut in 1835 of millard
fillmore; endowed also with twelve incredibly agile fingers; mr. lehrer
has had a long and varied career in the field of entertainment starting
with nine years at harvard university... where it was that he first
decided to devote his life to what has since become a rather successful
scientific project -- namely, the attempt to prolong adolescence beyond
all previous limits.
even before he came to harvard, however, he was well known in academic
circles for his masterly translation into latin of the wizard of oz,
which remains even today the standard latin version of that work. a
few years ago he was inducted... forcibly... into the united states
army and spent most of his indenture in washington as sort of army liaison
to the office of naval contemplation. about his service record he is
justifiably modest, but it is known that in a short time he rose to
the rank of brigadier general. however, before he could acquire a tenure,
he was discharged, and owing to nepotism and intrigue, he emerged with
only the rank of specialist 3rd class, which was roughly equivalent
to the rank of corporal without portfolio.
but to return to his career in show business: for several years he toured
vaudeville theaters with an act consisting of impressions of people
in the last throws of various diseases. i'm sure that many of you here
tonight still recall with pleasure his memorable diphtheria imitation.
he is generally acknowledged to be the dean of living american composers,
and is currently working on a musical comedy based on the life of adolf
hitler. without further ado -- tom lehrer...
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